Sunday, October 12, 2014

When the insane keeps you sane

Currently my life is insane.
Insanely busy due to work obligations.
So many responsibilities, so many tasks, loads of meetings, phone calls, texts, IMs, 7 days a week. My brain is full and always busy. My body is tired, my brain is tired. Very little is a constant.
It is very easy to feel weary. Very weary.

I don't always want to pop out of bed and march off into the dark morning, but I do it.
I do it because Bugsy pops up at whatever time I do and waits at the back door as I make the coffee.
He flies down the road, joyfully, intently, and with a youthful bounce in his step.
Darn dog never has a bad day.
Well until he gets home. Some days like today, he melts into the carpet as soon as we get in.
Seemingly he transforms from this energetic youthful dog, to this tired and achy old man.

I digress. This post is about how for years he has kept me sane.
These days he is my rock. So as my world swirls and changes and I am constantly pulled in several directions, he is my walk buddy. My lake buddy. My study buddy.
He greets the day with enthusiasm, watches me go in the morning, and greets me each evening with remarkable joy.

His steadiness in being happy takes me away from all the crazy stuff and exhaustion.
I am whisked away with the swish of his tail and mischievous ways.
His focus is always on what lies ahead and he is always sure it is going to be great.

He has his routine and he's adapted it to my schedule but my responsibility to him means that I must ground myself and have a routine with him. That routine is what frames my whacky work life! 

So that is our current world. I will confess my stress is reduced by just having him around. I look at him and his eyes say, "what fun are we going to have now?" and I smile and think, aaahhh.

Not too long ago I was a struggling small business owner.
There were dark days.
But just like today he bounced and played and zoomed and I smiled and smiled and smiled.

And the joy.
The unbridled, spilling out from within, joy.
He was so freaking nuts.
So his insanity saved me from residing in the dark place I could have easily gone to.

So as I look at the past 9 years I think,

"crazy ass puppy saved me from being down, crazy ass old dog keeps me grounded"

Now I better get to work because the rug just got pulled out from under me again.