Friday, February 3, 2017

Being insprired

I find it hard to put into words why I so often feel inspired by Bugsy.
As each year has gone by, it has grown and grown.
Observing how he navigates life, how he traverses the pitfalls, disruptions, deals with unpleasant dogs, engages in new experiences, and just takes whatever is thrown at him.

He has been unfazed by any hurdle. No matter the day, he's Bugsy.
He's happy, ridiculous, powerful, intense, driven, and kind.

In whatever faze of cancer we are at, his GI is giving him troubles regularly. I've tried what I can to settle it to no avail. We have some rough nights. But no matter how tired his poor body must be, he is excited to rise about 5 am and be out walking soon after.

This morning was 38* and raining. He'd had a bad night. I was a bit hesitant to take him but he LIVES for his walks. So I found his jacket to try to keep him a bit warmer/drier but he has to have his harness as his neck has many lumps and any stress on his collar impacts his throat. So I had the jacket over the harness with the leash clipped on the top of the harness and running under the jacket.
It was the kind of set-up that if someone set me up with, I'd be "I can't deal with this!"
He of course didn't notice the contraption,
or the rain,
or the wind,
or the cold.
Or seem tired or unwell.
He trotted down the road at a pace I still struggle to keep.
Nose to the air, "is that fox I smell?"

No fears, no concerns, focused on the job.
Garbage trucks, school buses and distracted early morning drivers speeding by in the dark. Nothing even causes a brief tilt of the head.
Things to do.
Dogs barking, nothing from him.

Confident & rhythmical he trots down the roads as if he was still young with strong, supple and undamaged joints.

I am just trotting behind him, taking it all in. Seeing him explode with love and joy when he meets his love Kiai.
Watching him cover ground with purpose.

The drive to move forward and achieve the self-determined goal undiminished.
Every day I am inspired, more so these days as the hurdles multiply and grow taller.
Yet he is the constant.

His eyes focused forward.
Drive untempered.
There are no failures in his world

Month 5 of our 3 to 6 month projection

I try not to think about it often
The time scales that is.

But sometimes I take stock. So here we are in month 5 post diagnosis, and 4 months post-splenectomy.

The first two months post-op were spectacular. Bugsy was more alive in those two months than he had been for years. It was, as I have stated in earlier posts, both thrilling and confusing.
December the slow down began.
He was sleeping more again.
There were more lumps.
But still the kind of joy that emanates from him like energy from a power station.
And as always, zoomies.

We celebrated his 11th gotcha day or as some say "adoptaversary"

He and I took a day trip to the beach, he had a fun Christmas and we all  kept on trucking.

Month 5, I had a neighbor feel for lymph nodes. Determination as "hard to say" if  they are enlarged.

More lumps.
Deeper sleeping.
And we are starting to have labored breathing.

But we still  have zoomies.
Every day.

Today he ran in the fields with his bros - a 1 yr old and a 3 yr old GSP.
He was so incredibly happy,
and goofy.
He ran wild zoomies twice, that had the humans running for cover and the GSPs wondering what in the world was going on.

Thinking that he'd collapse once home, you can imagine how surprised I was to have him stealing shoes and trying to instigate a chase.
After stealing the shoe off my foot, he got his chase.

The rest of the day was alternating naps and surveillance.

I know we are so lucky. He isn't like an old dog in so many ways.
His hearing and sight remain excellent.
He moves with grace and energy despite all the orthopedic issues he has had and the amount of arthritis he must have.
We walk/trot 2-3 miles daily.
He runs up and down stairs at speeds that still have me yelling "careful".
He is joyous and happy and of course he literally runs zoomies daily.

Knowing that his life expectancy was 10,  at 11.5 he's doing awesome.
Knowing the state of his knee, elbow, shoulder and lower spine, and watching him do what he does physically is flat out unbelievable - just ask the vets who have been tasked with keeping him running.
Knowing that the oncologists felt the cancer would take him swiftly, and watching the months tick by isn't easy, nor it isn't easy to forget.

I am not able to describe what it is like to KNOW all the stuff about him that should make him sick, unhappy, reluctant to be active and WATCH my insanely happy, wildly energetic dog basically running around saying, "I feel good"

I can't describe it at all - other than to say it's a blessing.