Well Master Bugsy has had a pretty awful nearly two weeks.
It seemed as though we'd turned a corner yesterday but today he was as flat as he was this summer when I knew he was sick.
I imagine he feels poorly, there's pain as well.
Although we went for a walk this morning and he saw his current girlfriend, there were no smiles today. Everything was hard work.
Yet he tried to do it like always. With a bounce in his step, when he did step.
I always say dogs are amazing and he is an amazing dog.
So when I sent him outside for his last of the night and he struggled down the stairs, and overall looked so tired & thin, he trotted outside, took care of business, came in and made sure I got the right treat, then he stood at the bottom of the stairs; mustering all his strength and attempted to run up them.
Because he's run up those stairs thousands of times.
After realizing on step 2 that leaping and running wasn't going to happen, he pulled his big old body up those stairs, and plopped onto his bed with a groan.
He loved his treat and gave me a big yawn as I stroked his bony & lumpy back.
It won't be long.
Cancer must be back. With a vengeance.
He's not being taken too soon. His life has been FULL.
He's defied a zillion odds.
The light in his eyes is weak now.
He's been the best buddy I have ever had.
And I owe it to him to ensure he doesn't suffer one minute too long.
Imagining this house, the lake, the beach, this neighborhood without him is flat-out crushing.
He's given me so much more than I thought you could have from a dog.
I gave him my all and he pushed me to new learning and strength.
Bugsy it will be the saddest day, the hardest moment, and the greatest act of love I will ever complete.
Maybe tomorrow is better, but I am not counting on it.
Sleep well my sweet boy, and thank you.