So he's home, sans a lump, but with three layers of sutures. The tumor was deeply embedded and difficult to remove. If the margins aren't clear he'll have to have surgery at NC State vet school (thank goodness we are so close to a wonderful resource).
But I have to confess now that he's home and I look into his groggy eyes I can't swallow it all.
Bugsy has cancer.
Bugsy who is ever happy, every active and more full of life than any living creature I have ever been witness to, has cancer.
I think I keep typing that to try to convince myself
Bugsy with the chiseled muscle body
Bugsy whose coat shines like no other
Bugsy whose power is just ridiculous
Bugsy whose energy never seems to wain
How could it not be visible in pictures I took on 7/10 and the size of a ping pong ball on 7/15?
How could it not be mast cell?
How could it be so deep and tangled in his body?
How can my world change so swiftly?
We picked him up and he dragged the vet tech to me even though his legs weren't ready yet so they splayed in 4 directions.
Then he ran past everyone in the lobby and straight to the car and up the ramp as if nothing was wrong
Once home he wanted some dinner and some comfort.
He wandered outside, swiftly going into hunt mode and deciphering who had visited in his absence.
My Bugsy has cancer???
The ruler of the neighborhood? The dog who has more buddies than any dog I know?
He's not yet 6 and there isn't a gray hair on him. He's lost a step to a TPLO but not much more. He is not exhausted by swimming well over a thousand yards or 5 mile hikes and days of play at the beach.
He wiggles his butt and wags his tail like a pup and has never lost the tremendous drive for mischief usually associated with pups.
But they age him at mid-50's in human years. Still too young to reach the end.
If you are reading this and made it this far - kiss your dog, smooth your hands over their body, and vow to allow them to sniff to their hearts content on tomorrow's walk. Their lives are short.
I fear way too short for Mr Bugs.
2 comments:
Hi Karen, I am a "friend" from "shorthairs" and I read about your Bugsy. I am so sorry. I noticed that you had a website and looked it up,it is soooooo adorable! I do appreciate my dog every day. I lost my other shorthair/lab(Chelsea) last year suddenly from Haemangeosarcoma sp? on the heart. She was only 9, and was totally healthy until then. Just wanted to let you know we are are all pulling for bugsy. Take care. Sheila k
Love always from Lisa, Riley, Todd and Charlie
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